Revenge of the Shit

from The Blue Addictions September 22, 2007...



I've just had the weirdest dream! Ever! The dream started with me taking a bath with few people I know inside one bath room! Yeah! All of us in our birthday suits! Of course there were girls! We were like dancing and spanking each other's butt (in a friendly kind of way...wink). We're in a sort of a hotel or something and kind of celebrating a victory...can't really remember but we all decided to take a bath together!

And then, just when I thought the whole hullabaloo is eternal, a piece of shit jumped out of the toilet! That broke my feeling of ecstasy and I just saw myself staring at the piece of shit. How did it looked like? Well, it was probably 3 to 4 inches, slightly bent, color is chocolate brown with some spot of tan, and oh yeah it is kind of wiggling. So there, we were dumbfounded as it signals to to other shits from the toilet bowl. It was like "Come on Shits! Attack!!!". Soon, there was a throng of shits of all shapes and sizes... and colors... and smell.



We started to run like mad people and just like birds, the shits flew and followed us. I was the one who was able to open the door and get out first. I went out of the bathroom and went out of the room. Being the dimwit that I am, I forgot to put on some clothes so when I got out, I was welcomed by unsuspecting hotel guests who stared at me degradingly. I tried to go back but the shits were just a meter a way plus I saw one of my friend being attacked by the shits so hell with the nakedness! I don't wanna be a human tissue paper! And so I run naked thorugh the halls, eyes scrutinizing every inch of my gorgeous body (wish!). Just like those scenes you see in psycho-killer-movies like "I know what you did last summer" where the one being chased would trip, it freakin' happened to me.



And so I was ambushed by the unfriendly shits, rubbing their soft, wet and stinky body onto mine. I think I was about to throw up when I woke up. And i realized that it was a silly, I-wish-that-won't-happen-to-me kind of dream. I closed my eyes again and tried to get the thoughts of being hunted by angry shits out of my head. I was about to doze off when I suddenly felt something. I need to go to the bathroom and it is not number 1! Eeekk!